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"Are you ok,Kim?"
December 22, 2009
Every time someone asks me that question, I say, “Im fine, thanks.”, but to be honest , Im not. Do people really want to know how you feel when they ask how are you? Or are they just trying to be polite. Next time, if someone asks me ‘how are you’, Im going to tell her, “Well, actually Im not very well at all, thank you. Im feeling a bit depressed and lonely. Pissed off at the world. Envious of you and your perfect relationship with him. And then ill tell her about how i started my new life and met lots of new people and how hard im trying to pick myself up but now im at a loss about what else to do. Then ill tell her how it pisses me off when someone says TIME IS A HEALER when at the same time they also say ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER, which really confuses me, because that means that THE LONGER HE”S GONE THE MORE I WANT HIM. Ill tell her that nothing is healing at all and that every morning I wake up in my bed it feels like salt is being rubbed into those unhealing wounds. And then Ill tell her how I miss him and how worthless my life it seems without him. And then ill tell her how many wet pillows i have every cold sleepless nights. Ill tell her why i dont want to be at home or any place we used to hangout. Ill tell her how much i hate senti music. And then Ill tell her how uninterested I am in getting on with things without him, and ill explain how i feel like im just waiting for my world to end. so, what do you think?”
cry
If anyone asks,
Ill tell them we’ve both just moved on.
When people all stare,
I’ll pretend that I don’t hear them talk.
Whenever I see you,
I’ll swallow my pride, and bite my tongue.
Pretend I’m OK with it all,
Act like there’s nothing wrong.
Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry
If anyone asks,
I’ll tell them we just grew apart.
(I’ll tell them we just grew apart)
What do I care,
If they believe me or not.
(If they believe me or not)
Whenever I feel,
Your memory is breaking my heart.
I’ll pretend I’m OK with it all,
Act like there’s nothing wrong.